Subject: homework ; "What I did in my holidays"

 Dear All,

Right then, Happy New Year! - I trust that you all had a superb   time and that you've recovered from all your Hangovers. This is the latest report from your man in Egypt - have had an amazing 3 weeks off, travelling around, so I felt duty bound to bore you all with the details.

Having broken up from university on the 12th I travelled to Beirut in Lebanon for a week. Actually getting a VISA in the first place proved nearly impossible from the Lebanese Consulate - whether they thought this Bimbo/Welsh/Sun-in boy was going to try and whip up some Islamic Fundamentalism in the streets I really don't know!. Four interviews with the Consul himself later he gave me the VISA with the advice that I shouldn't even think about leaving the quarter of Beirut I was planning to stay in so a real suprise was in store for the days ahead. The main reason for going was to see Vics again, it was great to see her, she was fantastic as ever and we had a great week touring the whole country. None of this would have been possible without our host for the week Greg Fairlie (THE No 1 Radio DJ in Lebanon on THE No1 Station!). He was a star to get my VISA sorted with an official invitation, put me up for the whole week, and then at the Weekend drove us around what turned out to be a truly stunning country. We went as far south as the town of Tyre only 10mins drive north of the UN protection zone from Israel. Then as far north as the city of Tripoli and east through the snowy mountains to the ruins at Baalbek. The scenery is breathtaking coastal cities lie directly below a range of snow capped mountains at this time of year. One morning was spent topping up the sun tan on a beach at Byblos whilst the same day we were chucking snowballs at each other in the mountains ( something I thought I would never do on a year abroad in the Middle East!). Beirut is a very vibrant,cosmopolitan and expensive capital.  Bullet-holed buildings, remnants of the recent civil war give way to huge modern skyscrapers. Hizbollah officially collect money on the streets something I found quite amusing and the famed Lebanese cuisine and Sheisha (Argeila) fantastic. It was certainly a shame to leave and a country I would love to visit again soon.  After returning to the comparative Hustle and Bustle of Egypt it was off down to Hurghada to see mum and dad for Christmas. The weather for the week got well in to the thirties and certainly beat the -11 temperatures back in Cheshire! After the 9 hour overnight bus ride down and the obvious student hardship I've been going through (!)it was rather nice to be in 5 star luxury for the week. We stayed in a purpose built resort called El-Gouna (20km north of the city) which seemed more like a little part of Berlin than anything else being virtually the only brits there all week, but it just really good to catch up with M&D and all their news from back home. The highlight must have been handing out a severe thrashing on Xmas day to both of them on the Golf Course in wonderful sunshine having been treated to a hilarious "real life" Nativity (camels, pregnant women - the lot) the night before in a desert Oasis. I also managed to hook mum on to the good old Sheisha before the week was up- marvellous!

Counted down New Year on the Banks of the Nile back in Cairo (rather depressingly sober) and then got up to watch the first Sunrise of the year shine on the Pyramids (gladly not hung-over). That's it for now Lecture over....... Hope to hear from you all soon (by e-mithers the mobile has died a death after the latest bill!). Best of luck to you all for 2001,

Subject: Sand Sand Everywhere

 Marhaba, Salam wu Alaykum, G'day all. Hope this finds you all well and not too cold. As usual have been jaunting around in the sunshine with the Arabs and felt duty bound to again bore you all with the details. Having finished the Mid-Year exams here on Tuesday with a bit of nightmare 20 min oral, three of us set off westwards to the desert Oasis of Siwa. This small village lies 550km west of Cairo and 350km south-west of Marsa-Matruh on the Med. coast and only 120km from the Libyan border. It is one of the only bits of civilisation around in a massive amount of desert and takes 9 hours to get to by bus. It's a tiny town that only had a direct road laid to it in the late 1980's so it has retained its own very unique culture as well as language. Siwa lies in a depression about 14m below sea-level making it an amazing sight coming through the surrounding dunes. Two massive lakes, that stretch as far as the eye can see, are split by around 300,000 palm trees and 70,000 olive trees with a tiny town square in the middle. Until 1926 the whole town lived in a mud buildings built several story's high, then.........................it absolutely belted it down for three days causing the ancient city of Shali that had lasted 800 years to literally melt away, oh dear!. It marks the beginning of the "Great Sand Sea" and thus the Sahara Desert. Massive dunes, some up to 150m high, stretch right the way across Africa and make for the most impressive and daunting sight. An army of 50,000 men got lost and died in it somewhere in an effort to find Siwa and its Oracle and have never been found. We hired bikes one day to see the sights (Oracle's houses etc..) sampled the fresh olives and watched the sun set over lake Siwa with the standard fantastic Sheisha and coffee etc...

The next day we went off in a 4X4 for swims in the hot springs that lie around the Oasis including to one called "Abu-Sherif" (This is a Euphemism in Siwi berber for 'have you had sex recently?' due to its rather accommodating and friendly female locals!). A disappointingly quiet and tame half hour later, we sped off for some true Wadi-Bashing in the desert, bombing up and down dunes and doing some Lawrence of Arabia impressions.  It was great fun leaping off pristine dunes- a huge feeling of desolation mixed with complete silence in the desert and just not being able to see anything but sand quite breathtaking after busy Alex. Right then - Anthea Turner holiday effort over with. Keep warm as the weather looks bloody freezing back there. Best wishes to you all and keep in touch,

Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 21:48:40 +0100

Dear Mike,

Suggestions for website - My favourite Band is not Boyzone like Will and Danny, a bit of Robbie Williams always does the trick. I now have a filthy Irish bird (in addition to the Surrey one) whose 'Pyramid' I'm poking out here as well as two birds tee'd up for my return. Otherwise I think the website is the dogs bollocks and I've enjoyed catching up with the weekly awards during the winter! I'll see if I can find a sponsor as well when I get back. As for Egypt, I'm sorry Stu has had to suffer some of my Judith Chalmers efforts designed with olds in mind. The truth is many nights drinking tonnes of Shitty "Stella" local ale which has the same effect as a dodgy vinderloo the morning after and learning a bit of Camel-Speak in between. Other Egyptian Classics include,

SAMINOFF VODKA (same sticker as Smirnoff)

GRAHAMS GIN (" " " Gordons)

JOHNNY WALKER BLACK TABLE (lethal shit that pretends to be Black Label)

Its been a top year so far, have had a laugh and have enjoyed the sunshine. Have managed two games of Cricket, played on a local footie pitch using some Persian rugs for a wicket - Tony Greig would have problems getting his f*****g keys in there I tell you! As for Season 2001 I wish you, Stuuuu and all the Winnington Park Squad the best of Luck. I had a great season last year and enjoyed every minute. The team spirit was the best I've ever known making it a real pleasure to turn on a Saturday afternoon. The side is loaded with talent and deserves every success including going up this year. That win over Hyde last year sticks in the memory and typifies the spirit and ability on offer at the club. Lots of wickets and runs to all, I look forward to keeping updated on the website, See you in Aug